Click here for tips for separating from your baby:

http://www.ivillage.com/babies-dealing-day-care-separation/6-n-137358#ixzz2ZybBQfA4

Teething Pain

​Discomfort from teething, which may begin as early as 3 months, can wake a baby. The gums around the emerging teeth may be swollen and tender.

How to Ease Baby’s Teething Pain

Give her firm objects to chew on—teething rings or hard, unsweetened teething crackers. Frozen teething toys should not be used; extreme cold can injure your baby’s mouth and cause more discomfort.

Medication

Pain relievers intended to be rubbed on a baby’s gums aren’t very helpful; a teething baby drools so much that the medication is quickly washed away. In addition, pediatricians warn that such medications can numb the back of the throat and interfere with your baby’s ability to swallow. If your baby is clearly uncomfortable, talk to your pediatrician about a possible course of action. Your pediatrician may suggest that you give a small dose of acetaminophen (eg, Tylenol) or ibuprofen (eg, Advil, Motrin).

Side Effects of Teething

When your baby’s teeth are coming through, she may also have a very slight increase in temperature. But if her temperature reaches 100.4°F (38°C) or above, it’s not because of teething. If your baby has symptoms such as fever, vomiting, or diarrhea while teething, consult your pediatrician to find out whether she has a medical condition requiring treatment.

Keeping the Usual Bedtime Routine

If your teething baby is irritable, try to make her comfortable, but keep to your usual bedtime routine. Changing the routine, even for a few nights, may only lead to sleep troubles.

Last Updated 11/1/2013 Source Sleep: What Every Parent Needs to Know (Copyright © 2013 American Academy of Pediatrics)

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/teething-tooth-care/Pages/Teething-Pain.aspx

Fostering Creative Learning in Young Children

Using multiple Intelligence Theory to Enhance Play and Exploration

May 3, 2009  by Barbara Abromitis

Young children learn best from tactile experiences that engage the senses, stretch the imagination, and take advantage of their natural curiosity and innate abilities.

Young children’s innate abilities and creative tendencies need nurturing to develop to their full potential. Parents and caregivers can easily provide an environment that fosters creative growth and exploration without a lot of costly materials, toys, CDs, or DVDs. In fact, children’s natural talents may be better enhanced by avoiding many of those items, and opting instead for simpler play-based and child-centered activities designed to nurture a child’s multiple forms of intelligence.

Howard Gardner (1993) has identified seven forms of intelligence that should be fostered by parents, caregivers, and teachers: Linguistic, Musical, Logical-Mathematical, Visual-Spatial, Bodily-Kinesthetic, Interpersonal, and Intrapersonal. While two (Linguistic and Logical-Mathematical) are usually associated with intelligence, the others are typically considered talents, a distinction Gardner claims is unnecessary and misleading. Gardner views all seven as equivalent abilities, possessed on a spectrum, with each child having a unique pattern of capability across tfhe seven domains.

Creativity and Multiple Intelligence Theory

Just as traditional views of intelligence have only encompassed two of Gardner’s identified domains (Linguistic and Logical-Mathematical), the creative arts typically refer to only Musical or Visual-Spatial intelligences. Encouraging creative exploration and play across all seven domains will help young children feel more confident when trying new activities or when combining elements of several domains into an activity that is uniquely theirs. The following are some ways to foster creativity in every domain:

Linguistic and Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

Linguistic creativity is fostered through oral and written word play, such as nursery rhymes, fingerplays, storytelling, early writing, making books, and the use of strategies such as the Language Experience Approach. Creative use of the logical-mathematical intelligence is fostered by the use of real processes such as measuring, estimating, counting, and figuring when shopping, cooking or building something with young children.

Musical and Visual-Spatial Intelligence

Musical creativity is fostered by listening to different music, singing, playing with musical instruments, and even drumming – a technique by which the listener taps out and even embellishes the rhythm of a song on a drum or other hard surface. Visual-Spatial creativity is fostered through the use of a variety of artistic techniques and materials to create drawings, paintings, collages, fabric art, mosaic, sculpture, and structures built from blocks or other building toys.

Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence

To foster creativity in this domain, try dancing to a variety of genres of music, playing charades or Simon Says, acting or role-playing people or animals, and practicing simple athletics. In addition, give children the opportunity to physically manipulate objects and art materials as they create or build from their imaginations.

Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Intelligence

Creative use of Interpersonal intelligence (“people skills”) can be encouraged through any form of interactive, imaginative role-playing, such as playing house, store, or restaurant. Intrapersonal intelligence (knowing oneself) can be fostered simply by talking with young children about their likes and dislikes, asking their opinion and why they feel a certain way, and encouraging them to ask themselves questions about the choices they make each day.

Children learn and express themselves best through active involvement and engagement of all their senses. Giving preschoolers a strong foundation for creative and cognitive development, however, should not involve the use of passive materials like CDs or DVDs. Using Gardner’s multiple intelligences as a guideline, parents and caregivers can provide a variety of activities for young children that strengthen all domains and encourage their cognitive development and natural creativity in age appropriate ways.

Further reading:

Gardner, Howard.  Frames of mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences.  New York:  Basic Books, 1993.

Relieve Your Baby's Cold Symptoms with
These Easy Tips

Babies experience up to seven colds in their first year of life so it is helpful for parents to know how to help relieve their baby's cold symptoms.

When a baby comes down with the common cold, parents feel helpless in helping them feel better until they are over it. Stuffy noses, coughing, fever and difficulty sleeping make baby irritable and parents unhappy. Fortunately, there are ways to ease your baby’s suffering that are safe for baby.

Know if it is a Cold or Something More Serious

Before treating, make sure your baby does have a cold and nothing more serious that may warrant a visit to the doctor. According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms of a cold include:

sneezing

coughing

irritability

trouble sleeping

runny nose

nasal discharge

low-grade fever of under 101 degrees F

decreased appetite

If your baby is over three months old and isn’t running a fever over 101 degrees F, and is still drinking liquids and keeping them down, then she probably only has a cold. However, if your baby has a fever higher than 101 degrees F, has trouble breathing, is wheezing or is not drinking fluids; take her to see a doctor immediately. Also, babies under three months old who develop any cold symptoms should see a doctor. Young babies can develop pneumonia, croup or sinus infections easily and can also become dehydrated quickly.

Relieving Cold Symptoms in Babies

Cold symptoms such as a stuffy nose can make it difficult for baby to eat and sleep. The Mayo Clinic suggests that the safest way to clear out your baby’s stuffed nose is to spray a little saline nasal spray in the nose and then suction out the mucus with a bulb suction device. Try doing this 15 minutes before baby begins to nurse or is bottle fed so it is easier for your baby to drink. Repeat before bedtime for easier sleeping.

Another way to relieve baby’s stuffy nose and coughing is to use a humidifier to keep air moist during the day and at night. You can also add a few drops of eucalyptus oil into the water to help clear the sinuses. Giving baby a warm (not hot) bath is another way to help drain sinuses and to relax the baby if he is irritable.

The Food and Drug Administration states you should never give a child under the age of two years old any over-the-counter cough and cold medications, even ones made for young children, unless directed by a doctor. In fact, babies under three months of age shouldn’t take any form of children’s pain reliever, such as acetaminophen (Children’s TYLENOL) either. However, if your baby is over three months old and has a low-grade fever, you may use the baby form of acetaminophen. The Mayo Clinic does warn to be careful with dosing instructions for babies and make sure the pain reliever is made for infants. Always ask your doctor if you are not sure.

Your baby’s symptoms should begin to dissipate in five to seven days and he should start feeling and acting better again. However, if the symptoms continue, it is time to see a doctor.

It is difficult for parents to stay calm when their baby is sick but rest assured that if the symptoms are not severe, then your baby will be feeling better soon. Knowing how to relieve some of your baby’s cold symptoms will help you both get through this illness, and the many other colds that are sure to occur in the future.

Sources:

Mayo Clinic “Common cold in babies” Retrieved October 17, 2010.

Baby Center “Colds” Retrieved October 17, 2010.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this article is for educational purposes only and should not be used for diagnosis or to guide treatment without the opinion of a health professional. Any reader who is concerned about his or her health should contact a doctor for advice.

Parent-Teacher Conferences

Parent-teacher relationships are most effective when participants have frequent and open communication with each other and demonstrate mutual respect for each other’s role in a child’s life. When families are positively involved in their child’s education, the child will flourish. Teachers prepare for conferences by thinking about each child’s interests and progress. Here are some ways parents can prepare so they too can be active participants in parent-teacher conferences.

Be willing and ready to share information about your child and family. Families are the most important influence in a child’s life. You know your child better than anyone else and have valuable insights to share with the teacher. Advocate for your child. Share things about your child’s life at home—personality traits, challenges, habits, friends, hobbies, and talents.  Focus on the things you believe the teacher needs to know. What kinds of things do you enjoy doing with your child? How do siblings relate to their brother/sister and vice versa? What kind of discipline do you use? What are your dreams for your child? What are your concerns?

Stay focused on your child. In our childhood, some of us might have been shy students who avoided the teacher’s gaze. Others were very active and seemed to always need the teacher’s help to stay on task. It is natural for our ideas about teachers and their role to be shaped by our own school experiences  Think about and then put aside your past experiences as a student. Stay focused on your child and his or her unique temperament, individual needs, and special interests.

Attend every parent-teacher conference. If your work schedule makes it difficult to meet during regular hours, make this clear to the teacher and try to set up a meeting time that is good for both of you. If you can’t visit in person, schedule a telephone call to discuss your child’s progress. Whether in person or by phone, use the conference as a time to exchange information with the teacher and discuss ways to work together to enhance your child’s education.

Arrive on time. Teachers usually have a tight schedule for conferences—typically 20 minutes per child and family. If you would like additional time to talk, ask for it ahead of time so you and the teacher will have plenty of time to discuss your ideas, concerns, and suggestions. Be considerate of other parents whose conferences will take place after yours. Remember that the teacher needs a few minutes between conferences to record the information shared and to prepare for the next parent.

Remember, children can hear and remember what is said. Young children often get mixed messages when they hear adults talking about them, no matter how positive the conversation may be. It’s best to arrange for a caregiver for your child or invite a family member to occupy him or her during the conference. If this is not possible, bring a favorite toy or activity to keep the child busy in another part of the room. Unless a child is expressly invited to take part, the conference is a time for you and the teacher to discuss your child.

Listen with an open mind. Try to concentrate on what the teacher is saying instead of what you are going to say next. Ask questions when you don’t understand. Speak up if you disagree with a strategy or don’t understand how it will support your child’s development and learning. Explain the reasons for your views and voice your concerns, but be open to suggestions. Stay on the subject: your child’s progress.

Be prepared. You might think about or write down one or two questions to ask the teacher. It’s a good idea to ask the most important question first, in case time runs out. Remember, while teachers have specialized education, they don’t have answers for everything. Teaching just isn’t that simple.

Keep the conversation focused on what can be done for your child. When there are problems, both teachers and parents need to stay calm and work together for the best interest of the child.

Stay involved. Try to visit the center or school frequently, not just for conferences and Back to School Night. Ask the teacher to suggest activities you can do at home to reinforce your child’s learning. Look for opportunities to engage yourself in your child’s education.

________________________________________

Source: Adapted from H. Seplocha, 2004, "Partnerships for Learning: Conferencing with Families,” Family Ties, Young Children 59 (5): 96–99.

© National Association for the Education of Young Children — Promoting excellence in early childhood education

Love, Learning, and Routines

For most of us, our lives involve a series of patterns—routines we perform almost every day, like stopping at the same place each day for coffee on the way to work. This is also very true for babies and toddlers. While we play a part in creating routines in our children’s lives, we may not fully realize the role they play in young children's development.

Routines help babies and toddlers learn self-control.

Consistent routines, activities that happen at about the same time and in about the same way each day, provide comfort and a sense of safety to young children. Whether it is time to play, time for a snack, a nap, or a loved one to return, knowing what will happen next gives babies and toddlers security and emotional stability. It helps them learn to trust that caring adults will provide what they need. When children feel this sense of trust and safety, they are free to do their "work," which is to play, explore, and learn.

Routines can bring you and your child closer together and reduce power struggles.

Stable routines allow babies and toddlers to anticipate what will happen next.  This gives young children confidence, and also a sense of control, such as when parents say:  “It is bedtime.  Would you like to brush teeth now or after we get your pajamas on?”  Routines can also limit the amount of "no's" and behavior corrections you need to give a toddler throughout the day, since your child can better predict what should happen next:  “I know you want a cracker.  But it is clean-up time now.  Remember, after clean-up, it is snack-time.”

Routines guide positive behavior and safety.

Routines are like instructions—they guide children’s actions toward a specific goal. Routines can be used for many reasons, but two of the most important are ensuring children's health and safety, and helping children learn positive, responsible behavior.  For example, children wash hands before they have snack, or must hold an adult’s hand when crossing the street.  Here is another example:

    Two-year-old George loves to play with his trucks in the afternoon as mom feeds baby Kira. When mom is done, it is time for them to pick up Dad at the bus stop. All the trucks have to be back in the bucket before they go. Mom lets George know when it’s clean-up time by ringing a special bell she has and saying, "Okay, driver, it's time for the trucks to park in the garage." One by one, George wheels each truck up a block plank and into the bucket. Each day they do this, and each day George knows he'll find his trucks where he put them—back in the bucket.  He also knows that after he puts away his trucks, he’ll get to see his dad which always makes him happy.

Routines support children’s social skills.

As babies grow, they come into contact with more people and begin to learn patterns and routines for social interaction. Greetings, good-byes, and chatting with others are examples of routine interactions that teach social skills. These interactions are also opportunities to help our children develop language skills.

    Play-time and mealtime are two routines that are very social times for children and parents alike.  Through talking, taking turns, sharing toys, learning to wait, and helping others during these activities, young children learn important social skills that will help them later on in school.

Routines help children cope with transitions.

Depending on your child's temperament, transitions between activities may be easy or more difficult.  Going from play to lunch, lunch to the store, the store to home...and especially transitioning to bed time, can be challenging.  Routines (like bedtime routines) can help make transitions easier. Some parents use a timer or a "5-minute warning" to prepare their toddlers for a change in activity. Others use a book, song, or special game. Special rituals can also help transition a child from one caregiver to the next, such as this routine:

    Each day, Leke and his mother count the steps as they walk up to the child care center. They leave his coat and lunch in his cubby.  Then they go to the toy area where the other children are playing. Leke picks out a toy.  He and his mother exchange "butterfly kisses" and mom waves good-bye.

Routines are satisfying for parents, too.

Not only do routines and rituals make transitions easier for children—they also help ease adults into parenthood. The early stages of becoming a parent can be overwhelming and sometimes put a strain on marriage. Continuing a ritual from your early marriage years (like an evening out or a special vacation spot) can help. In addition, taking a special ritual from your own childhood (such as a book that was read to you, a special breakfast made for you on Saturdays) can bridge your transition from a couple to a family.

Routines are an important opportunity for learning.

Daily routines are often thought of as just "maintenance" activities: meal time, running errands, getting ready for bed, taking baths. But these everyday actions are rich opportunities to support your child’s learning and development, while having fun. Routines offer the chance to build self-confidence, curiosity, social skills, self-control, communication skills, and more.  Take grocery shopping:

    Midori (aged 2) and her mom wheeled through the supermarket.  Midori pointed at the apples and her mom said, “Look at the red apples and the green apples.  Don’t they look yummy?”  She held one out for Midori to touch:  “Feel how smooth they are.”  Then she picked up a plastic bag and turned back to Midori:  “Why don’t you help me choose some to bring home?”  Together, they counted out five apples and put them in the bag.  Midori tried her best to help, but those apples were hard to hold!  It took two hands to get one in the bag.  “Nice work!” said her mother, “Thanks for helping.”

    Here, a simple interaction in the produce section opened the doors for practicing language skills, taking turns, talking, using one’s senses, and learning about numbers. It also provided a chance to nurture Midori’s self-confidence and self-esteem as her mother let her know that her thoughts and interests were important.  Midori’s mom also let her know that she was capable of doing important things, like choosing and bagging the apples.

Routines provide the two key ingredients for learning: relationships and repetition. So enjoy these “ordinary” moments with your child. If she's having fun with you, she's learning, too!

from Vanderbilt: Center on the Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning

Social Development: One Year Olds

During his second year, your toddler will develop a very specific image of his social world, friends, and acquaintances. He is at its center, and while you may be close at hand, he is most concerned about where things are in relation to himself. He knows that other people exist, and they vaguely interest him, but he has no idea how they think or what they feel. As far as he’s concerned, everyone thinks as he does.

As you can imagine, his view of the world (technically, some experts call it egocentric or self-centered) often makes it difficult for him to play with other children in a truly social sense. He’ll play alongside and compete for toys, but he doesn’t play cooperative games easily. He’ll enjoy watching and being around other children, especially if they’re slightly older. He may imitate them or treat them the way he does dolls, for example, trying to brush their hair, but he’s usually surprised and resists when they try to do the same thing to him. He may offer them toys or things to eat but may get upset if they respond by taking what he’s offered them.

Sharing is a meaningless term to a child this age. Every toddler believes that he alone deserves the spotlight. Unfortunately, most are also as assertive as they are self centered, and competition for toys and attention frequently erupts into hitting and tears. How can you minimize the combat when your child’s “friends” are over? Try providing plenty of toys for everyone and be prepared to referee.

As we’ve suggested earlier, your child also may start to show possessiveness over toys that he knows belong to him. If another child even touches the plaything, he may rush over and snatch it away. Try reassuring him that the other child is “only looking at it” and that “it’s okay for him to have a turn with it.” But also acknowledge that “Yes, it’s your toy, and he’s not going to take it away from you.” It may help to select a couple of particularly prized items and make them off limits to everyone else. Sometimes this helps toddlers feel they have some control over their world and makes them less possessive about other belongings.

Because children this age have so little awareness of the feelings of others, they can be very physical in their responses to the children around them. Even when just exploring or showing affection, they may poke each other’s eyes or pat a little too hard. (The same is true of their treatment of animals.) When they’re upset, they can hit or slap without realizing they are hurting the other child. For this reason, be alert whenever your toddler is among playmates, and pull him back as soon as this physical aggressiveness occurs. Tell him, “Don’t hit,” and redirect all the children to friendlier play.

Fortunately, your toddler will show his self-awareness in less aggressive ways, as well. By eighteen months, he’ll be able to say his own name. At about the same time, he’ll identify his reflection in the mirror and start showing a greater interest in caring for himself. As he approaches age two, he may be able to brush his teeth and wash his hands if shown how to do it. He’ll also help dress and, especially, undress himself. Many times a day you may find him busily removing his shoes and socks even in the middle of a store or the park.

Because your toddler is a great imitator, he will be learning important social skills from the way you handle conflicts between the two of you. Model for him the way words and listening can, at least on occasion, be used to resolve conflicts (“I know you want to get down and walk, but you must hold my hand so I know you’re safe”). As an imitator, he also will eagerly participate in anything you’re doing around the house. Whether you’re reading the paper, sweeping the floors, mowing the lawn, or making dinner, he’ll want to “help.” Even though it may take longer with him doing so, try to turn it into a game. If you’re doing something he can’t help with because it’s dangerous or you’re in a hurry, look for another “chore” he can do. By all means, don’t discourage these wonderful impulses to be helpful. Helping, like sharing, is a vital social skill, and the sooner he develops it, the more pleasant life will be for everyone.

Last Updated 8/6/2013

Source: Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5

(Copyright © 2009 American Academy of Pediatrics)

Switching To Solid Foods

Rice, oatmeal, or barley? What infant cereal or other food will be on the menu for your baby’s first solid meal? And have you set a date?

At this point, you may have a plan or are confused because you have received too much advice from family and friends with different opinions. To help you prepare for your baby’s transition to solid food, read on for more information from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

When can my baby begin solid foods?

The following are some guidelines from the AAP book Nutrition: What Every Parent Needs to Know. Remember that each child’s readiness depends on his own rate of development.

• Can he hold his head up? Your baby should be able to sit in a high chair, feeding seat, or infant seat with good head control.

• Does he open his mouth when food comes his way? Babies may be ready if they watch you eating, reach for your food, and seem eager to be fed.

• Can he move food from a spoon into his throat? If you offer a spoon of rice cereal and he pushes it out of his mouth and it dribbles onto his chin, he may not have the ability to move it to the back of his mouth to swallow it. It’s normal. Remember, he’s never had anything thicker than breast milk or formula before, and this may take some getting used to. Try diluting it the first few times, then gradually thicken the texture. You may also want to wait a week or two and try again.

• Is he big enough? Generally, when infants double their birth weight (typically at about 4 months) and weigh about 13 pounds or more, they may be ready for solid foods.

NOTE: The AAP recommends breastfeeding as the sole source of nutrition for your baby for about 6 months. When you add solid foods to your baby’s diet, continue breastfeeding until at least 12 months. You can continue to breastfeed after 12 months if you and your baby desire. Check with your child’s doctor about vitamin D and iron supplements during the first year.

How do I feed my baby?

Start with half a spoonful or less and talk to your baby through the process (“Mmm, see how good this is?”). Your baby may not know what to do at first. She may look confused, wrinkle her nose, roll the food around her mouth, or reject it altogether.

One way to make eating solids for the first time easier is to give your baby a little breast milk and/or formula first, then switch to very small half-spoonfuls of food, and finish with more breast milk and/or formula. This will prevent your baby from getting frustrated when she is very hungry.

Do not be surprised if most of the first few solid-food feedings wind up on your baby’s face, hands, and bib. Increase the amount of food gradually, with just a teaspoonful or two to start. This allows your baby time to learn how to swallow solids.

Do not make your baby eat if she cries or turns away when you feed her. Go back to nursing or bottle-feeding exclusively for a time before trying again. Remember that starting solid foods is a gradual process and at first your baby will still be getting most of her nutrition from breast milk and/or formula.

NOTE: Do not put baby cereal in a bottle because your baby could choke. It also may increase the amount of food your baby eats and can cause your baby to gain too much weight. However, cereal in a bottle may be recommended if your baby has reflux. Check with your child’s doctor.

Which food should I give my baby first?

For most babies it does not matter what the first solid foods are. By tradition, single-grain cereals are usually introduced first. However, there is no medical evidence that introducing solid foods in any particular order has an advantage for your baby.

Though many pediatricians will recommend starting vegetables before fruits, there is no evidence that your baby will develop a dislike for vegetables if fruit is given first. Babies are born with a preference for sweets, and the order of introducing foods does not change this.

If your baby has been mostly breastfeeding, he may benefit from baby food made with meat, which contains more easily absorbed sources of iron and zinc that are needed by 4 to 6 months of age. Check with your child’s doctor.

Baby cereals are available premixed in individual containers or dry, to which you can add breast milk, formula, or water. Whichever type of cereal you use, make sure that it is made for babies and iron-fortified.

When can my baby try other food?

Once your baby learns to eat one food, gradually give him other foods. Give your baby one new food at a time, and wait at least 2 to 3 days before starting another. After each new food, watch for any allergic reactions such as diarrhea, rash, or vomiting. If any of these occur, stop using the new food and consult with your child’s doctor.

Generally, meats and vegetables contain more nutrients per serving than fruits or cereals. Many pediatricians recommend against giving eggs and fish in the first year of life because of allergic reactions, but there is no evidence that introducing these nutrient-dense foods after 4 to 6 months of age determines whether your baby will be allergic to them.

Within a few months of starting solid foods, your baby’s daily diet should include a variety of foods each day that may include the following:

• Breast milk and/or formula

• Meats

• Cereal

• Vegetables

• Fruits

• Eggs

• Fish

NOTE: If you make your own baby food, be aware that home-prepared spinach, beets, green beans, squash, and carrots are not good choices during early infancy. They may contain large amounts of nitrates. Nitrates are chemicals that can cause an unusual type of anemia (low blood count) in young babies. Commercially prepared vegetables are safer because the manufacturers test for nitrates. Peas, corn, and sweet potatoes are better choices for home-prepared baby foods.

When can I give my baby finger foods?

Once your baby can sit up and bring her hands or other objects to her mouth, you can give her finger foods to help her learn to feed herself. To avoid choking, make sure anything you give your baby is soft, easy to swallow, and cut into small pieces. Some examples include:

• Small pieces of banana

• Wafer-type cookies or crackers

• Scrambled eggs

• Well-cooked pasta

• Well-cooked chicken finely chopped

• Well-cooked and cut up yellow squash, peas, and potatoes

At each of your baby’s daily meals, she should be eating about 4 ounces, or the amount in one small jar of strained baby food. Limit giving your baby foods that are made for adults. These foods often contain more salt and other preservatives.

If you want to give your baby fresh food, use a blender or food processor, or just mash softer foods with a fork. All fresh foods should be cooked with no added salt or seasoning. Though you can feed your baby raw bananas (mashed), most other fruits and vegetables should be cooked until they are soft. Refrigerate any food you do not use, and look for any signs of spoilage before giving it to your baby. Fresh foods are not bacteria-free, so they will spoil more quickly than food from a can or jar.

NOTE: Do not give your baby any food that requires chewing at this age. Do not give your baby any food that can be choking hazards, including hot dogs (including meat sticks [baby food “hot dogs”]); nuts and seeds; chunks of meat or cheese; whole grapes; popcorn; chunks of peanut butter; raw vegetables; fruit chunks, such as apple chunks; and hard, gooey, or sticky candy.

What changes can I expect after my baby starts solids?

When your baby starts eating solid foods, his stools will become more solid and variable in color. Because of the added sugars and fats, they will have a much stronger odor too. Peas and other green vegetables may turn the stool a deep-green color; beets may make it red. (Beets sometimes make urine red as well.) If your baby’s meals are not strained, his stools may contain undigested pieces of food, especially hulls of peas or corn, and the skin of tomatoes or other vegetables. All of this is normal.

Your baby’s digestive system is still immature and needs time before it can fully process these new foods. If the stools are extremely loose, watery, or full of mucus, however, it may mean the digestive tract is irritated. In this case, reduce the amount of solids and introduce them more slowly. If the stools continue to be loose, watery, or full of mucus, consult your child’s doctor to find the reason.

Good eating habits start early

It is important for your baby to get used to the process of eating—sitting up, taking food from a spoon, resting between bites, and stopping when full. These early experiences will help your child learn good eating habits throughout life.

Encourage family meals from the first feeding. When you can, the whole family should eat together. Research suggests that having dinner together as a family on a regular basis has positive effects on the development of children.

Remember to offer a good variety of healthy foods that are rich in the nutrients your child needs. Watch your child for cues that he has had enough to eat. Do not overfeed!

If you have any questions about your child’s nutrition, including concerns about your child eating too much or too little, talk with your child’s doctor.

The information contained in this publication should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

Source: Starting Solid Foods (Copyright © 2008 American Academy of Pediatrics)

Discovery and Play: Children Benefit from the Great Outdoors

Computer screens, the blare of the television, that closed-in feeling from being in a cubicle or office building all day — no matter who you are, sometimes, everybody needs a breath of fresh air. And so do young children. In fact, researchers say that children need to get outdoors every day.

Being outside helps children grow and develop — physically, socially, and emotionally. It may also help them avoid childhood obesity, and give them the chance to burn some of that extra energy from being indoors and inactive.

Even babies can benefit from being in the great outdoors — whether the great outdoors is in the mountains, or on a city street. But what can parents do with their children once they're outside? How can you help your child experience the outdoors and be safe? It's easier than you may think.

Infants: Taking it All In

Why should your baby be outside? Even though your baby might not even be walking yet, it's good for him to see, smell and hear different things. The different colors, people, and sounds will help stimulate his senses. Even the feel of air at a different temperature can be good for babies.

What can you do together?

Bring your baby along as you walk or go on an errand. Point out to

her different things you see along the way: birds, other people, flowers, and wherever it is you are going. She will enjoy the different sights and sounds, and listening to you talk.

If you live in an area with parks or playgrounds, they are a great place to bring babies. Generally, parks are a little quieter than the streets, and other children are there. You might also be able to make friends with other parents who have brought their own children.

If you live in a place where the weather is nice and warm, you can take your baby outdoors and sit with her on a blanket. Give her a chance to sit outside - bring toys for her to play with. You can also bring books and read to her. It will be good for you, too, to get outdoors. New parents may feel a little stir-crazy from being inside - this is a great excuse to get out.

Toddlers: Happy Play

Why should your toddler be outside? Toddlers, who have just learned to walk, need to build their muscles. Playing outdoors is a great way for your child to stay active and develop their large muscles. Toddlers should have between one and two hours of activity a day - both

“structured” and “unstructured”. Structured play helps toddlers learn steps and activities, while unstructured time is about letting their imaginations take over.

Daily Parent Archives/Child Care Aware volume 54 www.childcareaware.org

Avoid Hazards In The Home-Deck The Halls Safely

During the holidays, homes are filled with twinkling lights, holiday guests and festive decorations.  The combination should mean many happy memories, but it also brings an increased risk of home fires.  According to the U.S.Fire Administration, during the winter holidays structure fires increase and the dollar loss per fire is 34% greater than normal.

On top of daily worries such as crib safety and making sure that the child safety locks are in place, moms need to be extra vigilant about fire safety during the holiday season.  Commit a Minute to Safety today and help your family avoid common holiday fire dangers.

Focus On The Fireplace

Move stockings and holiday decorations off the mantle before starting a fire in your fireplace and always use the fireplace screen.  Recycle wrapping paper instead of burning it in your fireplace.  Burning wrapping paper could produce dangerous sparks or flares of intense heat.

Keep Watch In The Kitchen

The kitchen is a busy place from Thanksgiving through the holiday season.  Never leave anything cooking unattended, not even for a minute.  Turn pot handles inward so that little hands can’t grab them.  Keep your kitchen and your cooking area free of clutter to avoid unnecessary accidents.

Stay Warm Safely

Look for the UL Mark on your space heater and read the instructions before using it.  Move space heaters at least 3 feet away from anything that can burn (e.g: curtains, blankets) and never leave a space heater on when you leave the room or go to sleep.  Be sure to teach children (and practice it yourself) to never place anything on top of a space heater to dry.

Easy Electrical Safety

Check electrical outlets and make sure they are not overloaded.  Look for the UL Mark on all your electrical cords and holiday lights.  When decorating, inspect cords for damage and fraying and always keep extension cords away from where children play.  Never run an extension cord under a rug or tack it up to a wall with a nail or staple.

Use Candles With Care

Walk around your home and move candles away from anything that can burn.  Store matches and lighters away from children and be sure to blow out candles before you leave the room or go to sleep.  Never leave a burning candle unattended.

With just a few simple steps you can help protect your family from hazards in the home this holiday season.

How to Baby Proof Your Home for the Holidays

By Judith Palfrey, M.D.

Make It Festive

Trees, garlands, menorahs, lights -- so many colorful, shiny things for baby to explore! You don't have to put a hold on holiday decorations; just take a little extra care. So go ahead: Hang the stockings, trim the tree, light the menorah—sensibly.

Keep It Safe

If you have an artificial tree, make sure it's labeled "fire resistant." When choosing a live tree, find the freshest, greenest one possible (that sticky resin on the trunk is actually a good thing) and don't forget the tap test -- if the tree loses lots of needles when tapped on the ground, move on. Check all lights, whether they're used indoors or outside, to ensure they're in good working order with no frayed wires, broken sockets or loose connections. Keep live trees well-watered, and away from the fireplace, radiator or heater. Never use lighted candles on or near the tree, wreaths or any evergreens. Secure the tree to the wall if possible.

For decorations, stick to flame-resistant, nonbreakable ornaments, and if possible, hang them of baby's reach (ditto for garlands and wreaths). Skip the tinsel, heirloom ornaments and trimmings resembling candy or food. Be vigilant when baby is near the tree; never leave her unattended. Sweep the floor regularly to pick up tree needles, ornament hooks or anything else baby shouldn't put in her mouth. Poinsettias aren't poisonous, but amaryllis, mistletoe and holly are toxic -- your best bet is to display plants up high.

Keep the fire in the fireplace: Turn off all decorative holiday lights, including electric candles and menorahs, before you leave the house or go to bed.

Hassle-Free Holiday: Why not try a tabletop tree? It'll be out of reach of exploring hands, and it's much simpler to put up and take down.

Make It Fun

It's better to give than receive—except for baby, who'll be getting a gazillion toys, some of which may not be appropriate. Give a little guidance to friends and family to ensure their gifts are fun and safe.

Keep It Safe: Tactfully steer gift-givers to toys geared to baby's age. Create a wish list so you can identify specific items that are a good match for your child. Avoid balloons, toys that plug into outlets and those with strings or small parts (strangulation and choking hazards, respectively). Give dreidels to older children, not babies or toddlers.

When opening gifts, immediately discard paper, ribbons, bows, bags and packing material (like Styrofoam peanuts). Read the instructions for toys and games carefully and inspect them for loose or broken parts and sharp edges; store any that aren't baby-friendly out of reach. Try out ride-on or push toys indoors in a safe space, such as a carpeted area.

Hassle-Free Holiday: Chances are baby will receive plenty of gifts from relatives and friends, so consider a special family outing or mommy-and-me day: a free—and memorable—present.

Make It Tasty

Cookies baking in the oven ... holiday goodies are fun to make and eat, even for baby -- just don't overdo it.

Keep It Safe: That holiday spread is as enticing for baby as it is for your guests. Watch for potential choking hazards, especially hard or round treats like candy, nuts and crudités, as well as alcoholic beverages that could be mistaken for milk or fruit juice. Keep a lookout for things that are easily pulled or knocked over, such as tablecloths and runners, hot liquids and platters at the edges of counters and tables.

While it's fine to let a baby who's eating solids try a new treat, it's best to stick to his regular diet and feeding routine. Holiday foods that are quite rich (we're looking at you, eggnog) or have an abundance of unusual ingredients (fruitcake, anyone?) are best for school-age or older children. Make sure any foods meant for children under 4 are cut into bite-size pieces.

Hassle-Free Holiday: Consider handing over the hosting duties this year. Let someone else do the cooking and clean-up, leaving you free to mingle with your new baby and bask in all the attention he -- and you -- are sure to receive.

Holiday Helpers

Enjoy all that holiday togetherness—parties, dinners, cocktail hours—with these stay-safe tips for new parents.

· Your childhood home may no longer be childproofed -- inspect your temporary digs (hotel rooms too!) for anything baby-unfriendly.

· If traveling for the holidays, stick to baby's routine as much as possible. Snacks before long car trips or full feedings before flights may also help keep her calm.

· Give older children a baby-free zone where they can open presents and play with toys not safe for little ones.

· At parties, play it safe by putting baby in a play yard, buckling her into a bouncy seat on the floor, or toting her around in a carrier to help her avoid temptations.

Seeing the holidays through your baby's eyes

Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

A newborn won't be able to actively participate in holiday festivities, but she will be captivated by the bright colors, sparkling lights, and music of the season.

She can see only things that are about 8 to 14 inches from her eyes, so hold her up to gaze at the blinking lights of a Christmas tree or the flickering flames of menorah candles, or lay a soft mat on the floor near the tree for a baby's-eye view of the decorations.

By 1 month, your baby will be transfixed by almost anything you pass in front of her eyes; try dangling a brightly colored, unbreakable ornament close to her face. Young babies also love to be touched, held, and cooed and smiled at; 'tis the season to share plenty of affection with her.

As your child's senses continue to develop, she will feast on the sounds and sights of the season as she absorbs the world around her.

Of course, she's still too young to understand what the holidays are all about. But it's never too early to start your own family traditions, whether that means driving around the neighborhood to look at the sparkling lights, lighting Hanukkah candles, reading aloud from a favorite Kwanzaa book, or listening to Christmas carols.

For all the joy, the holiday season can also present some special challenges for your baby. Keeping her developmental stage and temperament in mind can help you both avoid problems and handle them with aplomb when they occur. A few troubleshooting tips you might find helpful:

Let her be leery. For the first six months or so, your baby will probably be entranced by faces and perfectly happy gazing up at adoring grandparents and other relatives. Beginning at around 6 months, however, she'll be able to tell the difference between strange and familiar faces and may cry when you put her in the arms of someone she doesn't recognize. Give her time to warm up to relatives while she's dealing with separation anxiety.

Keep tabs on the stimulation. It's easy to get caught up in holiday merrymaking and forget that too many new faces, sights, and sounds at once can overstimulate a young baby. Pay attention to your baby's cues: Put her down for a nap or bed when you see the telltale signs of sleepiness (like eye-rubbing and crankiness).

Newborns are particularly susceptible to overstimulation if kept awake for more than a couple of hours at a time. Also keep in mind that newborns may startle at loud or unexpected noises, so you may want to leave your baby with a caregiver if you're planning to attend a raucous holiday party.

Heed your baby's schedule. Disrupting a baby's schedule causes many of the problems that arise during the holidays. Whenever possible, try to stick to her usual sleeping and waking times — better to find a room where she can take a nap than to spend the rest of the day with a baby who is overtired.

Persistence is the desire to have an impact on the world, and the determination to act on that desire.  While children are born with a motivation to explore and learn, persistence helps them accomplish their goals.  Following are examples of how persistence develops in the first three years:

• A 6-week-old smiles at her mother.  Her mother smiles back and gives her a kiss.  The baby smiles again and receives another smile and kiss in return.  This baby is learning that she has the power to impact her world and receive a positive, loving response from another person.
• A 9-month-old drops his spoon over the side of his high chair.  He laughs at the clatter it makes and is thrilled when his older brother reaches down and returns it to him.  He promptly throws it back on the floor as he and his brother laugh at this silly game.  This baby is learning that he can make a loud noise, create a fun game, get someone to act on his behalf, and make this special someone laugh.
• An 18-month-old lifts a marker to the wall—he has a huge, wide open space to decorate.  After only a few minutes, his mother swoops down and grabs the marker from his hand.  She looks angry and talks to him in a stern voice.  This toddler is learning that sometimes his goals don’t please the people he loves.  It is the beginning of learning about appropriate behavior, and making wise choices about his actions that will continue as he grows.
• A 2-year-old carefully stacks one block on top of another to make a tower.  He experiments with which blocks form the most solid base and considers how best to balance the blocks as the tower gets taller.  This toddler is learning what steps are involved in making his goal a reality through careful planning and persistence.

Here are some ideas for nurturing your child’s persistence:

Ask children thoughtful questions to help them solve problems on their own:  “What do you think you need to do in order to get this lid to fit on this pot?”  This helps your child use logical thinking skills and his persistence to reach a goal.

Point out how children’s actions helped them achieve a goal. Notice the steps involved in achieving a goal.  (And try to avoid only praising successes.)  “I saw how carefully you balanced the blocks on top of one another.  You made a strong base for your tower.  Good thinking.  It fell over when you put the triangle block on top, but I bet you can build it again.”

Support your child in his attempts to master new skills. It’s great that your child is motivated to try new things on his own. Keep in mind that doing something for your child that he can and wants to do himself can take away his initiative.  So, even if they don't match, let your toddler pick out his own clothes. Put a plastic mat under the high chair to catch the "fall-out", but let your older baby feed himself. Let your child know that you’re proud of him for trying hard by noticing his efforts: "You got your shirt off all by yourself. That was hard work." Mastering the skill of persistence nurtures feelings of self-confidence and independence.  If your child gets frustrated and starts to give up, you can offer suggestions or assistance so he can eventually do it on his own.

Encourage your child to try new tasks. Watch her to see what she seems ready to tackle. If your 18-month-old raises her hands for you to pull off her shirt, ask her if she'd like to try and take it off herself. If she has been taking your hand to put the puzzle pieces in, challenge her to try placing them herself. Tell her it may take a few tries, but you believe she can do it. Just be sure your expectations are age-appropriate. When you ask your child to do something she is not ready to do developmentally, she may experience feelings of failure or incompetence; this may make her reluctant to try new things. Instead, offer your child lots of opportunities to feel successful by offering small, achievable challenges.  If your child is more hesitant or cautious, break up more difficult tasks into manageable parts.

Model persistence. Let your child see you attempting new things and persisting even when the task becomes difficult or frustrating. Share the thinking process with her. "Boy, putting this new toy together is really hard. I’m feeling pretty frustrated. I even feel like giving up. But instead I think I’ll slow down and do it one step at a time."

It’s okay to let your child make mistakes or fall short of her goal. If she’s not distressed by it, she may just move onto something else. But, if your child finds herself challenged by an activity and becomes extremely frustrated and distressed, she may not be able to figure it out on her own. You may need to give her permission to stop the activity. You can suggest she take a break and try again at a later time. You can support her and recognize her effort by saying: "You worked on that puzzle for a long time. It was really hard and not being able to do it right away made you feel bad. Sometimes it’s good to stop for awhile. You can always try again another time." It is critical that your child doesn’t sense you are disappointed, because this will communicate that pleasing you, rather than herself, is what is important. When she is ready to start again, sit down with her and give her some pointers or guidance to get her moving toward a solution.

© ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families. All rights reserved.

Cooperation

Cooperation is the ability to balance one’s own needs with someone else’s. We often think of cooperation as children doing what adults want. That is compliance. True cooperation means a joint effort—a give and take that is mutually satisfying. To develop a cooperative spirit in children, we need to help them understand how our requests and rules are good for everyone.

Following are examples of ways that cooperativeness grows across the first three years of life:

• A 3-month-old wakes and begins to cry for milk.  His mother, who is just putting the last dish in the dishwasher, says, “I’ll be with you in one minute, honey.  I know you’re hungry.”  The baby quiets a bit and sucks on his fingers.  This baby is learning that while he may sometimes need to wait a bit, his needs are important and will be met.

• A 14-month-old happily drops socks and t-shirts from one laundry basket into the other.  His grandmother says, “Thank you for helping me sort the laundry.  Why don’t you come while I put it in the washing machine?  I’ll lift you up so you can press the button.  Then we’ll go for a walk.”  This young toddler is learning that part of being in a family is working together to complete daily chores.

• Two 30-month-olds reach for the same bright red shovel in the sand box.  One grabs, the other grabs.  Tears follow, while each assures the other:  “Mine!”  One child’s father steps in and gently separates the two, handing a red shovel to one and a plastic bulldozer to the other.  He shows them how one can bulldoze a pile of dirt, which the other can shovel into a bucket.

These children are learning how to resolve conflict, cope with disappointment, and build relationships through cooperative play.

Below are ways you can help your child experience the rewards and develop the skill of cooperating.

Take turns.  Between 6 and 9 months, babies can begin to engage in back-and-forth interactions. They also learn to imitate. This is a great time to encourage turn-taking as you play with your baby. When you place a block in the bucket, give him time to copy you. Take turns putting objects in the bucket and dumping them out. As he gets older, take turns putting pieces in the puzzle, or shapes in the shape-sorter. When it’s time to clean up, make a game of taking turns placing toys back on the shelf. These experiences are opportunities for him to feel the pleasure of accomplishing something as a team.

Explain your reasons for limits and requests.  At three years old, most children use and understand language well enough to handle simple explanations. Point out how rules benefit the whole family. "We all help clean up. Then we don’t lose our toys and we can find them again." "When you help me put away the laundry, I finish quicker and then we can play."

Take time to problem-solve.  You can help your older two- and three-year-olds come up with solutions to everyday dilemmas and encourage cooperation at the same time. Here are steps to try to help you teach problem-solving skills to your child:

•  State the problem. "You want to draw on the wall but mommy says no."

•  Ask a question. "Where else could you draw?"

•  Try a solution. Offer two options, both of which are acceptable to you—perhaps either paper or a cardboard box. If she insists she wants to draw on the refrigerator, set a limit. "I’ll put the crayons away until we agree on a place to draw."

• Then re-direct. Most young children need help finding acceptable ways they can channel their desires. "You can put magnetic letters on the refrigerator."

Do chores together starting at an early age. Let your child grow up experiencing the benefits of cooperation. Together you can set the table, clean up toys, or wash the car. Point out the advantages of cooperating. "Look how fast we set the table. Now we have time to read a book before dinner." "Boy was it fun to wash the car with you. You are a great scrubber! Look how bright and shiny you made our car!"

Give specific praise for cooperative efforts. Point out why and how their contribution was important. This helps them recognize and value their skills. "You picked out all the white socks and put them together. That helped me finish the laundry quicker. Now we have more time to play." "You put the books away on the shelf. Now it’s easier to choose one. Would you like me to read to you?"

Offer suggestions, not commands. Suggestions elicit cooperation. Commands often evoke resistance. "It is cold so you will need to wear a hat. Would you like help putting it on, or do you want to do it yourself?" This is likely to bring about a better response than saying, "Put on your hat."

Give your child choices while maintaining the rules. "Teeth need to be brushed at bedtime. Do you want to do it before we read books or after?" Of course, they almost always choose to do it after, but they’re less likely to protest and the rule is still adhered to.  Offering choices shows your child respect, and respect creates a sense of collaboration.

Copyright 2012 ZERO TO THREE:
National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families

Potty training in three days or less

by Karen Zuercher , Reviewed by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

How to potty train in three days

A month or so before you start:

Check that your child is demonstrating signs that he’s ready for potty training. For Fellom, this includes staying dry for two or more hours at a time, asking to use the potty, refusing to be diapered, and pooping at a regular time each day. Fellom prefers to use her method with children younger than 28 months, saying that after this age they may be more resistant to potty training, but she also works with older kids.

"It’s pretty much guaranteed to work for children who try it before 28 months," Fellom says. "The closer you get to age 3, the less likely it is to work."

Clear your schedule and plan to spend an entire long weekend – all three days – focused on potty training. Cancel regular weekend activities, and make sure your potty training partner can be around all the time for at least the first two days to help out.

Make up a "potty dance" with your potty training partner. The goal is to celebrate your child’s successes and give him an incentive to continue, so the dance can be anything from a modified end-zone chicken dance to a full-on rumba with accompanying song – whatever feels right to you.

Two to five weeks before your potty training weekend, start educating your child about using the potty. When you, your partner, or another family member needs to use the bathroom, take your child along so he can observe how you pull down your pants and underwear, sit on the potty, pee or poop into it, wipe yourself, pull up your pants and underwear, flush the toilet, and wash your hands. You can even have your partner accompany you and your child into the bathroom and do the potty dance for you after you go.

"If the parents do the potty dance for each other, the child understands that it's fun and sort of a 'family event' when a family member uses the potty," Fellom says.

You can also use family pets to demonstrate the concept of going to the potty to your child. Point out when your pet is going to the potty in an appropriate place, such as a litter box or a spot outside.

Buy several potty chairs or arrange to borrow some from friends and relatives. Put a potty in every main room and bathroom in your home.

The week before you start:

Show your child a stack of diapers and explain that starting Saturday (or whenever you schedule your three days to begin), there will be no more need for diapers and that he can be naked and diaper-free. Present this as a fun and exciting development, Fellom advises, as in, "When these are all gone, you don't have to wear diapers anymore! You can be naked!"

"One of the reasons this method works so well — and why it's called Diaper Free Toddlers — is that children this age love to be naked. They don't give a hoot about potty training. Their goal is to be naked and diaper-free," Fellom says.

On day one of potty training:

Get up with your child as soon as he wakes up. For the rest of the day, have him go naked below the waist. You and your partner spend the day taking turns watching your child for signs that he needs to pee or poop. When he starts to go, whisk him to the nearest potty.

Throughout the day, have everyone eat salty snacks or foods with high water content and drink a lot of liquids so they have to pee often.

Any time you or your partner needs to use the bathroom, take your child in with you. Demonstrate how you pull down your pants and underwear, sit on the potty, pee or poop into it, wipe yourself, pull up your pants and underwear, flush the toilet, and wash your hands.

Celebrate your child's success any time he gets a "hit" on the potty – meaning that some amount of pee or poop, even a few drops, goes into the potty rather than on the floor. When this happens, do your potty dance. You can also give praise, high-fives, and so on. After ten to 12 hits, Fellom says, kids usually get it and start to use the potty independently.

If your child has an accident, don't say, "It’s okay." Instead, say in a mildly disappointed voice, "Poop/pee goes in the potty," and help your child clean it up by placing your hand over his. But don't yell at him or shame him for having accidents: They will happen.

Before nap time and bedtime, tell your child it's time to go potty (never ask your child, because he'll usually say no). Put a diaper on your child before he goes to sleep, unless you feel confident that he'll remain dry.

On day two of potty training:

Follow the instructions for day one. The only difference is that on day two you can all go outside together for one hour in the afternoon. Wait until your child pees in the potty, then head out immediately.

"You want to link using the potty with getting to leave the house," Fellom says. This way you can "train your child to pee on command" before you go out.

When you go out, have your child wear loose pants with nothing underneath – no diapers, training pants, or underwear. Your goal is to make it out and home accident-free, without having to use the potty while you're out, but bring spare clothes in case you're not so lucky.

Fellom advises sticking close to home and not going in the car. Take a walk in your neighborhood (even just around the block) or head to a nearby park. Bring a portable travel potty with you, in case your child says he needs to go while you're out, but that's fairly unlikely at this early stage.

On day three of potty training:

Follow the instructions for day one, but on day three your family can go out for an hour in the morning and another hour in the afternoon. Each time, have your child use the potty just before leaving the house.

Again, when you're out have your child wear loose pants with nothing underneath. Bring your travel potty and a change of clothes.

After your potty training weekend

After the long weekend, expect that your child will usually take himself to the potty when he has to go, or tell you or your partner that he needs to do so. But to seal the deal, some follow-up needs to happen.

For the next three months, have your child go naked below the waist when you're at home. (You can use diapers for naptime and nighttime as needed.) When out – including at daycare – have your child wear loose pants with nothing underneath.

Fellom believes that training pants and underpants feel like diapers to a child, and that using them before three months have passed encourages your child to start peeing in them again. After three months with no accidents, your child can start wearing underpants and no longer needs to go bare-bottomed at home.

When you're out and about, keep your portable travel potty in the car and be aware of public bathrooms nearby. You can use a potty training seat on public toilets if you like (the kind that fits over the toilet seat and helps kids feel more secure on adult-size toilets), but it's not necessary. Instead, just help steady your child on the toilet and wash your hands and your child's afterward.

What if your potty training weekend doesn't do the trick?

If your child doesn't have the hang of using the potty after your potty training weekend, Fellom recommends waiting six to eight weeks and trying again.

Says Fellom: "If your child is having less than a 75 percent success rate or worse, or doesn't seem to notice the pee running down her leg, stop and try again later."

Tips for potty training success

To make Fellom’s method work for you, parents who’ve used it advise:

"Have a no-returns attitude. You have to say this is totally it and be fully committed that weekend." – Antje

"Don’t spend so much time dreading it. It went so much easier than we ever thought it would. If I’d known how easy it was I’d have investigated it sooner. [Using Fellom's approach] totally took away our fear about potty training." – Teresa

"Pick a part of your house that has wood, tile, or linoleum floors that are easy to clean. Set up a bunch of your child's toys and activities and get comfortable. We spent almost the whole weekend in our kitchen and it worked really well – we could clean up accidents easily and keep the room warm with a space heater. We also made cookies!" – Marcella

"Make it a party atmosphere ... something exciting [for your children]." – Antje

"Think, ‘I’d rather suffer through three exhausting days than suffer for months.’” – Jeanine

article adapted from www.babycenter.com

Playing is How Toddlers Learn

Raising a Toddler Can be Child's Play

• Play is how your toddler explores and learns about the world. Support and encourage this play.

• Allow your child lots of time to play.

• Match your child’s interests with play activities.

• Take care of yourself—playing with your toddler can take a lot of your energy.

• When you are having fun, your child is having fun too!

• Playing and pretending allow your child to learn and grow.

Play is how young children start to get ready for school.

• They learn how to feel comfortable being with other children, and how to be a good friend.

• Play gets children ready for learning—paying attention to adults, playing nicely with others, and feeling comfortable being away from their parents.

• Pretend play is one way children learn about difficult feelings like anger and fear.

TIP: Make the places in your home where you spend a lot of time safe places where your child can play and be supervised easily. Give your child lots of time to explore with things like water, sand, boxes, or any other safe item that your child finds interesting.

TIP: Provide simple and safe items, like plastic cups and plates, pots and pans, books, blocks, play tools, and crayons. This way, your child can copy your actions and work. Items should be stored in a safe place or in a container where children can easily see and get to them.

TIP: Describe what’s going on to your child:

• “I see you drew a brown circle.”

• “What a long jump you made!”

TIP: Ask questions.

• “How did you make this yummy soup?”

• “What will happen next?”

TIP: Find items that match your child’s interests. If your child likes to watch ants crawl along the sidewalk, read a book about insects!

TIP: Visit special places related to your child’s interests. You can start with a visit to your local library. You will get ideas for future play.

When you let your child guide the activities, you get a window into the delightful world of a toddler—a world where everything is new and full of possibility.

Child's Play Can Be Hard Work For Parents

Playing with your child takes a lot of time and energy. When you are tired, your toddler will know it. Find time for yourself. Maybe your family can help out, or perhaps a friend will watch your child for a few hours. You will come back with more energy and joy. If you are having fun, chances are your child is having fun, and learning, too.

If you find yourself losing patience, it’s a sign that you need some time for yourself! Let people know when you need support or help. If you feel bored or anxious a lot of the time, talk with your pediatrician.

It helps to find company for you and your child.

• Many libraries have story hours.

• Community centers and YMCAs often have play groups.

• Find a popular playground where you can meet other parents with young children.

• Child care provides an opportunity for your child to meet others.

Last Updated 1/2/2014

Source: Connected Kids: Safe, Strong, Secure (Copyright © 2006 American Academy of Pediatrics)

Parent-Teacher Conferences

Parent-teacher relationships are most effective when participants have frequent and open communication with each other and demonstrate mutual respect for each other’s role in a child’s life. When families are positively involved in their child’s education, the child will flourish. Teachers prepare for conferences by thinking about each child’s interests and progress. Here are some ways parents can prepare so they too can be active participants in parent-teacher conferences.

Be willing and ready to share information about your child and family. Families are the most important influence in a child’s life. You know your child better than anyone else and have valuable insights to share with the teacher. Advocate for your child. Share things about your child’s life at home—personality traits, challenges, habits, friends, hobbies, and talents.  Focus on the things you believe the teacher needs to know. What kinds of things do you enjoy doing with your child? How do siblings relate to their brother/sister and vice versa? What kind of discipline do you use? What are your dreams for your child? What are your concerns?

Stay focused on your child. In our childhood, some of us might have been shy students who avoided the teacher’s gaze. Others were very active and seemed to always need the teacher’s help to stay on task. It is natural for our ideas about teachers and their role to be shaped by our own school experiences  Think about and then put aside your past experiences as a student. Stay focused on your child and his or her unique temperament, individual needs, and special interests.

Attend every parent-teacher conference. If your work schedule makes it difficult to meet during regular hours, make this clear to the teacher and try to set up a meeting time that is good for both of you. If you can’t visit in person, schedule a telephone call to discuss your child’s progress. Whether in person or by phone, use the conference as a time to exchange information with the teacher and discuss ways to work together to enhance your child’s education.

Arrive on time. Teachers usually have a tight schedule for conferences—typically 20 minutes per child and family. If you would like additional time to talk, ask for it ahead of time so you and the teacher will have plenty of time to discuss your ideas, concerns, and suggestions. Be considerate of other parents whose conferences will take place after yours. Remember that the teacher needs a few minutes between conferences to record the information shared and to prepare for the next parent.

Remember, children can hear and remember what is said. Young children often get mixed messages when they hear adults talking about them, no matter how positive the conversation may be. It’s best to arrange for a caregiver for your child or invite a family member to occupy him or her during the conference. If this is not possible, bring a favorite toy or activity to keep the child busy in another part of the room. Unless a child is expressly invited to take part, the conference is a time for you and the teacher to discuss your child.

Listen with an open mind. Try to concentrate on what the teacher is saying instead of what you are going to say next. Ask questions when you don’t understand. Speak up if you disagree with a strategy or don’t understand how it will support your child’s development and learning. Explain the reasons for your views and voice your concerns, but be open to suggestions. Stay on the subject: your child’s progress.

Be prepared. You might think about or write down one or two questions to ask the teacher. It’s a good idea to ask the most important question first, in case time runs out. Remember, while teachers have specialized education, they don’t have answers for everything. Teaching just isn’t that simple.

Keep the conversation focused on what can be done for your child. When there are problems, both teachers and parents need to stay calm and work together for the best interest of the child.

Stay involved. Try to visit the center or school frequently, not just for conferences and Back to School Night. Ask the teacher to suggest activities you can do at home to reinforce your child’s learning. Look for opportunities to engage yourself in your child’s education.

________________________________________

Source: Adapted from H. Seplocha, 2004, "Partnerships for Learning: Conferencing with Families,” Family Ties, Young Children 59 (5): 96–99.

© National Association for the Education of Young Children — Promoting excellence in early childhood education

Love, Learning, and Routines

For most of us, our lives involve a series of patterns—routines we perform almost every day, like stopping at the same place each day for coffee on the way to work. This is also very true for babies and toddlers. While we play a part in creating routines in our children’s lives, we may not fully realize the role they play in young children's development.

Routines help babies and toddlers learn self-control.

Consistent routines, activities that happen at about the same time and in about the same way each day, provide comfort and a sense of safety to young children. Whether it is time to play, time for a snack, a nap, or a loved one to return, knowing what will happen next gives babies and toddlers security and emotional stability. It helps them learn to trust that caring adults will provide what they need. When children feel this sense of trust and safety, they are free to do their "work," which is to play, explore, and learn.

Routines can bring you and your child closer together and reduce power struggles.

Stable routines allow babies and toddlers to anticipate what will happen next.  This gives young children confidence, and also a sense of control, such as when parents say:  “It is bedtime.  Would you like to brush teeth now or after we get your pajamas on?”  Routines can also limit the amount of "no's" and behavior corrections you need to give a toddler throughout the day, since your child can better predict what should happen next:  “I know you want a cracker.  But it is clean-up time now.  Remember, after clean-up, it is snack-time.”

Routines guide positive behavior and safety.

Routines are like instructions—they guide children’s actions toward a specific goal. Routines can be used for many reasons, but two of the most important are ensuring children's health and safety, and helping children learn positive, responsible behavior.  For example, children wash hands before they have snack, or must hold an adult’s hand when crossing the street.  Here is another example:

Two-year-old George loves to play with his trucks in the afternoon as mom feeds baby Kira. When mom is done, it is time for them to pick up Dad at the bus stop. All the trucks have to be back in the bucket before they go. Mom lets George know when it’s clean-up time by ringing a special bell she has and saying, "Okay, driver, it's time for the trucks to park in the garage." One by one, George wheels each truck up a block plank and into the bucket. Each day they do this, and each day George knows he'll find his trucks where he put them—back in the bucket.  He also knows that after he puts away his trucks, he’ll get to see his dad which always makes him happy.

Routines support children’s social skills.

As babies grow, they come into contact with more people and begin to learn patterns and routines for social interaction. Greetings, good-byes, and chatting with others are examples of routine interactions that teach social skills. These interactions are also opportunities to help our children develop language skills.

Play-time and mealtime are two routines that are very social times for children and parents alike.  Through talking, taking turns, sharing toys, learning to wait, and helping others during these activities, young children learn important social skills that will help them later on in school.

Routines help children cope with transitions.

Depending on your child's temperament, transitions between activities may be easy or more difficult.  Going from play to lunch, lunch to the store, the store to home...and especially transitioning to bed time, can be challenging.  Routines (like bedtime routines) can help make transitions easier. Some parents use a timer or a "5-minute warning" to prepare their toddlers for a change in activity. Others use a book, song, or special game. Special rituals can also help transition a child from one caregiver to the next, such as this routine:

Each day, Leke and his mother count the steps as they walk up to the child care center. They leave his coat and lunch in his cubby.  Then they go to the toy area where the other children are playing. Leke picks out a toy.  He and his mother exchange "butterfly kisses" and mom waves good-bye.

Routines are satisfying for parents, too.

Not only do routines and rituals make transitions easier for children—they also help ease adults into parenthood. The early stages of becoming a parent can be overwhelming and sometimes put a strain on marriage. Continuing a ritual from your early marriage years (like an evening out or a special vacation spot) can help. In addition, taking a special ritual from your own childhood (such as a book that was read to you, a special breakfast made for you on Saturdays) can bridge your transition from a couple to a family.

Routines are an important opportunity for learning.

Daily routines are often thought of as just "maintenance" activities: meal time, running errands, getting ready for bed, taking baths. But these everyday actions are rich opportunities to support your child’s learning and development, while having fun. Routines offer the chance to build self-confidence, curiosity, social skills, self-control, communication skills, and more.  Take grocery shopping:

Midori (aged 2) and her mom wheeled through the supermarket.  Midori pointed at the apples and her mom said, “Look at the red apples and the green apples.  Don’t they look yummy?”  She held one out for Midori to touch:  “Feel how smooth they are.”  Then she picked up a plastic bag and turned back to Midori:  “Why don’t you help me choose some to bring home?”  Together, they counted out five apples and put them in the bag.  Midori tried her best to help, but those apples were hard to hold!  It took two hands to get one in the bag.  “Nice work!” said her mother, “Thanks for helping.”

Here, a simple interaction in the produce section opened the doors for practicing language skills, taking turns, talking, using one’s senses, and learning about numbers. It also provided a chance to nurture Midori’s self-confidence and self-esteem as her mother let her know that her thoughts and interests were important.  Midori’s mom also let her know that she was capable of doing important things, like choosing and bagging the apples.

Routines provide the two key ingredients for learning: relationships and repetition. So enjoy these “ordinary” moments with your child. If she's having fun with you, she's learning, too!

Copyright 2012 ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families

1255 23rd Street, NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20037 | Phone: (202) 638-1144 | Fax: (202) 638-0851

Supporting Your Child's Relationship-Building Skills

Relationship-building describes the process of establishing emotional connections with others, starting from birth, which are based on trust and intimacy. Through relationships, children discover who they are and learn to understand others. When young children experience people helping, understanding, and enjoying them, they approach the world with openness and enthusiasm, and they grow to be responsive and caring people.

Babies are born with a drive to relate to and connect with others, and they continue to develop the social skills necessary to form strong, healthy relationships throughout their lives:

• A newborn gazes at her mother’s face as she breastfeeds.  She recognizes her mother as the special, loving person who is always there for her, and calms down almost immediately when her mother picks her up and holds her close.  This baby is learning that she is loved and that she can trust others to care for her and treat her well.

• A 6-month-old laughs and laughs as his father holds a napkin over his face, and then drops it to say, “Peek-a-boo!”  Whenever his father tries to put the napkin back on the table, the baby says, “eh, eh, eh” to let his father know he wants him will hold up that silly napkin again.  This baby is learning that he can connect with a loved one through a fun activity like this one.  He is discovering that spending time together is satisfying and pleasurable.

• A 20-month-old wants to cut his own fruit for snack.  His grandmother says no.  He stamps his feet and sobs.  His grandmother tells him she has an idea:  She gives him a dull butter knife and guides his hand to help him cut some melon.  This toddler is learning that his interests and needs are important and what it feels like to be understood by another person.

• A 2 1/2-year-old sees her brother fall off his bicycle and begin crying.  She runs over and starts to rub his back, like she’s seen her mommy do.  This toddler is learning how to empathize with, or understand, another’s feelings and experiences.

Below are some ideas for nurturing relationship-building skills in infants and toddlers:

Allow for some unstructured, uninterrupted time with your child each day.  Let her be the leader in deciding what to play.  Don’t multi-task during this special playtime—just be there with your child one-on-one.  She will feel loved and special with your full attention.  When you have to do turn to daily chores, you can stay connected with your toddler by talking with her or having her help with the activity, giving her "jobs" she can handle. With your baby, you can narrate what you’re doing and offer her interesting, related objects to keep her connected to you—like giving her a wooden spoon to play with while you’re cooking.

Let your child know you’re interested in her activities.  Show a sincere interest in your child—whatever she is doing. Your attention is what she desires and is thrilled to receive.  You can show your interest by commenting on or describing what she is doing: "You are using so many beautiful colors to make that drawing." Or, get involved by following her lead.  If she is putting blocks in a container, see if she’ll take turns with you, or if you can build something together. This will also help her learn about the value and joy of back and forth play which is an important aspect of all successful relationships.

Encourage children to express their feelings in an age-appropriate way. Forming positive, healthy relationships depends on the ability to show feelings appropriately and to recognize the feelings of others. Teach children acceptable ways to vent anger, like drawing an angry picture, running in the yard, or tossing a pillow on the floor. Label your own feelings, "I am happy because you helped me clean up," or, "I am sad that grandma had to fly home." It is important for children to know that you have feelings too, but that there are ways to cope with them so you can feel better.

Respect and recognize your child’s feelings. This teaches your child to trust her instincts. It can also help her work through powerful or difficult feelings and allow her to move on.  Knowing you respect her feelings teaches your child empathy and respect for others, which are important elements in any relationship. Accepting her feelings, without minimizing them or making fun, also increases the chances that she will share more with you as she grows.

Play games that explore feelings. Use puppets to act out a young child’s typical frustrations or fears, like having to share toys with a playmate, adjusting to a new baby, or separating from loved ones. Make drawings or hats for different emotions, and talk about pictures in books that communicate feelings.  Also, watch what your child “tells” you during her play—it can be a window into her inner thoughts and feelings.  For example, if your child dresses up in mommy clothes and acts out leaving her teddy bear at the babysitter’s house, she may be wondering about separations.  You can help her think through these big ideas and feelings by playing along and perhaps reminding her that, while Teddy misses his mama, he knows his mama always comes back.

Provide opportunities for your child to develop relationships with peers.  Children need practice in order to learn to share, take turns, resolve conflict, and feel the joy of friendship. Playing together gives children all of this—plus a chance for parents to connect with others adults, too!  At this age, being present during play-dates is important as children often need help learning and practicing their new friendship skills.  And it's a good rule of thumb to keep playdates short for little ones—45 minutes-to-an-hour is about right for most toddlers.  For older toddlers, you can use their playtime with peers to nurture relationship-building skills by:

• Suggesting, when appropriate, that children turn to peers for assistance or to get answers to their questions:  “You are wondering how to get the little doll to sit in the high chair?  Why don’t you ask Jeremy?  I just saw him feeding her a few minutes ago.”

• Asking children to imagine how their behavior might affect others:  “I see that you told Greta that she can’t play ball with you.  How do you think that made her feel?”

• Encouraging children to work in groups or as teams, when appropriate:  “Sam and DeShawn, could you please put the cars away?  Then you can help me get your snack ready.”

• Helping children to see others’ points of view, which encourages empathy:  “Casey is feeling sad because his mom had to go.”

Limit TV and other "screen time".  Television takes time away from hanging out together—and time away from children playing, solving problems, interacting, and actively learning about the world around them. When your child does watch, you can enhance the experience by talking with your child about the show—what she thought it was about, which characters she liked and disliked, how it made her feel. You can also act out the story as she understood it, use puppets to tell the story, or make up your own story together.

Copyright 2012 ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families

Help Toddlers Form Good Sleep Habits

For parents of toddlers, bedtime is frequently the most challenging part of the day. Toddlers often resist going to sleep, particularly if older siblings in the household are still awake.

Tips to Help Your Toddler Establish Good Sleep Habits

• Adopt a nightly routine so your child has quiet time before bedtime and understands that it will soon be time to go to sleep. The routine should be the same each night, as toddlers are comforted by routine. Give her a bath, read her a story, or listen to soft music. Avoid active play, which will only excite her and make sleep more difficult.

• Be consistent. Bedtime should be at the same time every night. By doing so, your child will know what to expect, and it will help her establish good sleep habits.

• Let your toddler take a favorite object to bed at night—perhaps a teddy bear, special blanket, or favorite toy. It can help her fall asleep—and fall back asleep if she awakens during the night. Make sure the object has no buttons or ribbons that could put your child at risk for choking.

• Make certain your toddler is comfortable. If she wants a drink of water or a night-light turned on, do so and then tell her it’s time for sleep.

• Do not let your child sleep in your bed. Doing so makes it more difficult for her to fall asleep when she’s alone.

• Wait several seconds before you go into your toddler’s room whenever she complains or calls out. Then each time she calls for you, wait a little bit longer before you respond. Reassure your child that you are there, even when you’re out of sight. Each time you respond, remind her that it’s time for her to go to sleep. Don’t do anything to reward your child for calling out for you.

• Give it time. It’s normal to become upset if your child keeps you awake at night. But try to be understanding, or you’re likely to make the problem with sleep even worse. You may need to ask for help from your partner and other adults again when your toddler has sleep disruptions.

How To Promote Sound Sleep in Your Toddler

The first step is to create a sleep schedule for your child. When you see that she’s tired, make that her bedtime. Then build a sleep routine around this time. You can have her take a bath, read a story, or sing a song, followed by some quiet time before you leave the room so she can sleep.

But even once routines are in place, you can’t always rely on your toddler to sleep through a nap period or the nighttime. In addition to being unpredictable in childhood, sleep can also be disrupted by events like changing rooms or beds, losing a favorite blanket or cuddly toy, or going on a family vacation. Keeping to a regular bedtime routine makes it easier to cope with occasional exceptions to the schedule. When bedtime is delayed, settle your child with a shorter version of the usual going-to-bed routine.

Last Updated 9/18/2013

Source  Sleep: What Every Parent Needs to Know

(Copyright © 2013 American Academy of Pediatrics)

http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Help-Toddlers-Form-Good-Sleep-Habits.aspx

The year between age 2 and age 3 is an exciting one.  Toddlers are realizing that they are separate individuals from their parents and caregivers.  This means that they are driven to assert themselves, to communicate their likes and dislikes, and to act independently (as much as they can!).  Toddlers are also developing the language skills that help them express their ideas, wants, and needs.

At the same time, toddlers do not understand logic and still have a hard time with waiting and self-control.  In a nutshell:  Two-year-olds want what they want when they want it.  This is why you may be hearing things like “no” and “me do it” and “no diaper change!” more than ever before.

Learning to Handle Strong Feelings

As a parent, your job is to help your young toddler navigate the tide of strong emotions she is experiencing this year.  This is no small task, since the emotional lives of 2-year-olds are complex.  This year they are beginning to experience feelings like pride, shame, guilt, and embarrassment for the first time.

Older toddlers are a lot like teenagers.  Their feelings may swing wildly from moment to moment.  They may be joyful when getting a popsicle and then despair when it drips on their hands.  So toddlers really need your loving guidance to figure out how to cope with their emotions.

Your child is struggling with this when:

• He has a meltdown when you can’t understand his words

• She says no when she means yes (you are offering her a favorite treat)

• He gets so angry that he might throw a toy

• She cannot settle for a substitute—if the purple pajamas are in the wash, she is inconsolable (even though you have offered the pink ones, the polka dot ones, the ones with the cupcake patch on the front, etc.)

• He acts out when frustrated—will give up or get angry when he can’t figure out how to make the jack-in-the-box work

Your child is learning to manage strong feelings when he:

• Uses words or actions to get your attention or ask for help

• Talks to himself in a reassuring way when he is frustrated or frightened.  For example, he might say to himself, “Daddy will come back,” after you drop him off at child care.  Or, “I can build this again” after his block tower collapses

• Re-enacts a stressful event, like a doctor’s visit

• Uses words like “I’m mad” rather than throwing or hitting

• Tells you the rules or shows that she feels badly about breaking rules.  For example, your child might say no to herself as she does something off-limits, like opening the fridge.  Or he might tell you at the park, “Don’t walk in front of the swings.”

Practicing Self-Control

When you see challenging behavior, it usually means that your child can’t figure out how to express her feelings in an acceptable way or doesn’t know how to get a need met.  What helps your child learn is when your response shows her a different, more constructive way to handle these feelings.

Learning to cope with strong feelings usually happens naturally as children develop better language skills in their third year and have more experience with peers, handling disappointment, and following rules.  While children won’t completely master self-control until they are school-age (and practice it all their lives!), here are some ideas for helping your toddler begin to learn this important skill:

• Talk about feelings and how to cope.  Read books and notice aloud how the characters are feeling: The dog is really happy that he got a bone.  And share your own feelings:  I just spilled the baby’s milk.  I feel really frustrated!  Will you help me wipe it up?  Wow, it feels so good to have your help. When your child can label how he is feeling, it helps him gain control over his emotions and communicate them to others.

Once your child has named his feelings, you can suggest what he might do to feel better or solve the problem.  This helps him learn what to do in the future when he faces a similar challenge.  For example, if he is sad because his grandparents just left after a two-week visit, you can suggest looking at photos of them or drawing them a picture.

• Offer your child ideas for how to manage strong emotions.  Young children need guidance when it comes to figuring out how to deal with big feelings like anger, sadness, and frustration.  So when your child is really angry, validate what he is experiencing:  You are really angry right now because I said no more television.

Then suggest that he jump up and down, hit the sofa cushions, rip paper, cuddle up in a cozy area for alone time, paint an angry picture or some other strategy that you feel is appropriate.  What’s important is to teach your child that there are many ways to express his feelings in healthy, non-hurtful ways.

• Empathize with your child.  It’s okay to let her know that you understand the choices she is being offered are not the ones she wants:  We have to leave now to go to Ms. Kelly’s house. I know you want to stay home with daddy. You miss me and I miss you during the day. But staying home is not a choice today.  Daddy has to go to work.  But when we get home, we will finish the puzzle we started and have a yummy dinner.  Do you want to get into the car seat yourself or do you want me to put you in?

• Give your child a visual aid to make waiting easier.  If your child has to wait until his oatmeal has cooled down, show him the steam rising from the bowl.  Tell him that when the steam goes away, you can test the oatmeal on a spoon to see if it is cool enough.  If you need to help your child brush her teeth for 2 minutes each day, use an egg timer so she can watch the countdown.  Need 10 minutes to fold some clothes?  Set a kitchen timer so that your child can keep track.

Timers are also great tools for helping children learn to share.  Give them each a few minutes—using the timer—to play with a toy they both want, like the shiny new tricycle parked out back.  It’s also helpful to state the obvious: It’s hard to wait sometimes, isn’t it?

• Let your child make choices appropriate to her age—about what to wear (perhaps offer 2 choices) and what to eat (within reason), what to play, who to play with.  This gives her a feeling of control and supports her growing confidence and sense of competency (the belief that “I can do it”).

Offering choices also helps head off the “Not That One” game where you keep offering your child different things and he keeps saying “Not that one, the other one!”  Instead, try giving your child 3 choices and let him pick:  You can have an apple, a string cheese, or a bagel for snack.  What sounds good to you?

• Look for ways to help your child “practice” self-control.  There are many daily moments when you can teach your child this skill.  For example, games that require turn-taking are great for practicing how to wait and share.  Rolling a ball back and forth is an example.  This game gives children the chance to wait and control their impulse to grab the ball.  You can also take turns hitting a soft foam ball off a tee.

Or try acting out a story.  Pretend play offers many chances to wait, take turns, and negotiate as children decide how the story will unfold.  Another idea is playing “sharing music” where each of you chooses an instrument to play and set an egg-timer for 1 minute.  When the timer goes off, switch instruments and set the timer again.

Copyright 2012 ZERO TO THREE:

National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families

1255 23rd Street, NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20037 | Phone: (202) 638-1144 | Fax: (202) 638-0851

Supporting Your Child's Relationship-Building Skills

Relationship-building describes the process of establishing emotional connections with others, starting from birth, which are based on trust and intimacy. Through relationships, children discover who they are and learn to understand others. When young children experience people helping, understanding, and enjoying them, they approach the world with openness and enthusiasm, and they grow to be responsive and caring people.

Babies are born with a drive to relate to and connect with others, and they continue to develop the social skills necessary to form strong, healthy relationships throughout their lives:

• A newborn gazes at her mother’s face as she breast feeds.  She recognizes her mother as the special, loving person who is always there for her, and calms down almost immediately when her mother picks her up and holds her close.  This baby is learning that she is loved and that she can trust others to care for her and treat her well.

• A 6-month-old laughs and laughs as his father holds a napkin over his face, and then drops it to say, “Peek-a-boo!”  Whenever his father tries to put the napkin back on the table, the baby says, “eh, eh, eh” to let his father know he wants him will hold up that silly napkin again.  This baby is learning that he can connect with a loved one through a fun activity like this one.  He is discovering that spending time together is satisfying and pleasurable.

• A 20-month-old wants to cut his own fruit for snack.  His grandmother says no.  He stamps his feet and sobs.  His grandmother tells him she has an idea:  She gives him a dull butter knife and guides his hand to help him cut some melon.  This toddler is learning that his interests and needs are important and what it feels like to be understood by another person.

• A 2 1/2-year-old sees her brother fall off his bicycle and begin crying.  She runs over and starts to rub his back, like she’s seen her mommy do.  This toddler is learning how to empathize with, or understand, another’s feelings and experiences.

Below are some ideas for nurturing relationship-building skills in infants and toddlers:

Allow for some unstructured, uninterrupted time with your child each day.  Let her be the leader in deciding what to play.  Don’t multi-task during this special playtime—just be there with your child one-on-one.  She will feel loved and special with your full attention.  When you have to do turn to daily chores, you can stay connected with your toddler by talking with her or having her help with the activity, giving her "jobs" she can handle. With your baby, you can narrate what you’re doing and offer her interesting, related objects to keep her connected to you—like giving her a wooden spoon to play with while you’re cooking.

Let your child know you’re interested in her activities.  Show a sincere interest in your child—whatever she is doing. Your attention is what she desires and is thrilled to receive.  You can show your interest by commenting on or describing what she is doing: "You are using so many beautiful colors to make that drawing." Or, get involved by following her lead.  If she is putting blocks in a container, see if she’ll take turns with you, or if you can build something together. This will also help her learn about the value and joy of back and forth play which is an important aspect of all successful relationships.

Encourage children to express their feelings in an age-appropriate way. Forming positive, healthy relationships depends on the ability to show feelings appropriately and to recognize the feelings of others. Teach children acceptable ways to vent anger, like drawing an angry picture, running in the yard, or tossing a pillow on the floor. Label your own feelings, "I am happy because you helped me clean up," or, "I am sad that grandma had to fly home." It is important for children to know that you have feelings too, but that there are ways to cope with them so you can feel better.

Respect and recognize your child’s feelings. This teaches your child to trust her instincts. It can also help her work through powerful or difficult feelings and allow her to move on.  Knowing you respect her feelings teaches your child empathy and respect for others, which are important elements in any relationship. Accepting her feelings, without minimizing them or making fun, also increases the chances that she will share more with you as she grows.

Play games that explore feelings. Use puppets to act out a young child’s typical frustrations or fears, like having to share toys with a playmate, adjusting to a new baby, or separating from loved ones. Make drawings or hats for different emotions, and talk about pictures in books that communicate feelings.  Also, watch what your child “tells” you during her play—it can be a window into her inner thoughts and feelings.  For example, if your child dresses up in mommy clothes and acts out leaving her teddy bear at the babysitter’s house, she may be wondering about separations.  You can help her think through these big ideas and feelings by playing along and perhaps reminding her that, while Teddy misses his mama, he knows his mama always comes back.

Provide opportunities for your child to develop relationships with peers.  Children need practice in order to learn to share, take turns, resolve conflict, and feel the joy of friendship. Playing together gives children all of this—plus a chance for parents to connect with others adults, too!  At this age, being present during play-dates is important as children often need help learning and practicing their new friendship skills.  And it's a good rule of thumb to keep playdates short for little ones—45 minutes-to-an-hour is about right for most toddlers.  For older toddlers, you can use their playtime with peers to nurture relationship-building skills by:

• Suggesting, when appropriate, that children turn to peers for assistance or to get answers to their questions:  “You are wondering how to get the little doll to sit in the high chair?  Why don’t you ask Jeremy?  I just saw him feeding her a few minutes ago.”

• Asking children to imagine how their behavior might affect others:  “I see that you told Greta that she can’t play ball with you.  How do you think that made her feel?”

• Encouraging children to work in groups or as teams, when appropriate:  “Sam and DeShawn, could you please put the cars away?  Then you can help me get your snack ready.”

• Helping children to see others’ points of view, which encourages empathy:  “Casey is feeling sad because his mom had to go.”

Limit TV and other "screen time".  Television takes time away from hanging out together—and time away from children playing, solving problems, interacting, and actively learning about the world around them. When your child does watch, you can enhance the experience by talking with your child about the show—what she thought it was about, which characters she liked and disliked, how it made her feel. You can also act out the story as she understood it, use puppets to tell the story, or make up your own story together.

Copyright 2012 ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families

This month our parent article is “Top 10 Halloween Safety Tips”.  I thought this was fitting with Halloween right around the corner.  If there any topics you would like to see in the coming months please feel free to email me at toddlerprogram@comcast.net .

Top 10 Halloween Safety Tips For Parents

By Nancy Stonecutter

There are accidents and incidents every Halloween that can spoil the holiday. Pedestrian accidents, tampered products causing illness or lacerations, falls, fires, etc. Here are my Top 10 Tips to keep your family safe this Halloween.

1. Costumes. Make sure the costumes you buy are flame retardant. They should fit well and not be too long so kids can walk without tripping. Watch out for dangling strings, fringes, scarves, etc. When choosing a costume, pick ones that will be comfortable for hours of wear, and will keep the child warm enough for chilly nights trick or treating. Avoid costumes and accessories that are sharp or pointy.

2. Be visible. Costume that are reflective or bright are best so kids are visible by car drivers. If the costume is dark, consider adding some reflective tape to the costume, treat bag, shoes, etc.  Reflective tape and a flashlight can make your child more visible in the dark.

3. Masks. Be wary of mask since they can obscure vision. They are usually difficult to wear for any length of time. Opt for makeup and hats instead.

4. Pumpkins. Do not let kids carve pumpkins themselves. Let them draw faces or designs on the pumpkins with markers and you do the carving. Instead of candles, use fairy lights, Christmas lights, or the orange lights now available at many stores. Just carve an extra hole in the back of the pumpkin so you can bring the plug through.

5. Your Home. Before the little ghouls and goblins start arriving, make sure your home is ready. Clear off any items on your lawn that kids could trip on in the dark. Make sure your walkway is clear and lit. Check that your porch light works.

6. Pets. Pets should be secured in a back part of the house. All the excitement and noise can upset them. You do not want them getting loose, or worse - biting a child.

7. Safety outside. Warn your kids about running across the street. Night comes earlier this time of year and motorists may have trouble seeing the little ones if they dart out. There are pedestrian accidents every year during Halloween.  Use extra caution if you are driving.

8. Safe Trick or Treating.  An adult must always go with small children. Teach your child to only go to homes where the lights are on. They should never enter inside a home. They should never go off with anyone promising sweets or enter a car for treats.

9. Safety in Numbers. Older kids will probably want to go without parents, but lay down some rules first. Make kids stay together. Plan the route they will take, so they can find each other if one person gets lost, and you know where to go looking for them if you need to. Remind them to remain on the streets: not to cut across lawns or through alley ways. At least one child should carry a cell phone.

10. Treat Safety. Once your kids get home, go through their candy. Throw out any suspicious or unwrapped items. Apples should be washed and cut up into pieces or used to make apple sauce. Limit the sweets children eat. My recommendation is to give Halloween toys instead of candy. They are free of allergens and sugar; toys are fun; and leftovers can be saved for next year. You can also get inexpensive Halloween flashlights and reflective necklaces as treats.

A little preparation can ensure everyone has a happy, and safe, Halloween.

Nancy Stonecutter is a nurse who writes about family and child care. Visit her blog at http://www.NancytheNurse.wordpress.com for more information.

Tips for Choosing Toys for Toddlers

Toddlers are little explorers who learn by doing. Play gives your child a great opportunity to develop and practice new skills at her own pace by following her unique interests. The toys and playthings your child has available to her can shape her development in important ways.

While it may seem like choosing toys for toddlers should be easy, as you walk into a toy store today, the only thing that's easy is feeling overwhelmed. There is a huge array of toys that have been developed for the toddler market. How do you choose which are right for your child? How can you tell which are high quality and which will last? Which will engage your child's interest for more than a few days or weeks? Below are some ideas for choosing toys that will grow with your child, challenge her, and nurture her overall development (her thinking, physical, language and social-emotional skills).

Guidelines for Choosing Toys for Toddlers

• Choose toys that can be used in a variety of ways. Toddlers love to take apart, put back together, pull out, put in, add on, and build up. Choose toys that are "open-ended" in the sense that your child can play many different games with them. For example, wooden blocks or chunky plastic interlocking blocks can be used to make a road, a zoo, a bridge or a spaceship. Toys like this spark your child's imagination and help him develop problem-solving and logical thinking skills.

Examples: Blocks, interlocking blocks, nesting blocks or cups, and toys for sand and water play

• Look for toys that will grow with your child. We all have had the experience of buying a toy that our child plays with for two days and never touches again. You can guard against that by looking for toys that can be fun at different developmental stages. For example, small plastic animals are fun for a young toddler who may make a shoebox house for them, while an older toddler can use them to act out a story she makes up.

Examples: Plastic toy animals and action figures, toddler-friendly dollhouses, trains and dump trucks (and other vehicles), stuffed animals and dolls

• Select toys that encourage exploration and problem-solving. Play gives children the chance to practice new skills over and over again. Toys that give kids a chance to figure something out on their own—or with a little coaching—build their logical thinking skills and help them become persistent problem-solvers. They also help children develop spatial relations skills (understanding how things fit together), hand-eye coordination, and fine motor skills (using the small muscles in the hands and fingers).

Examples: Puzzles, shape-sorters, blocks, nesting blocks or cups, art materials like clay, paint, crayons or play-dough

• Look for toys that spark your child's imagination. During your child's third year, her creativity is really taking off as she is now able to take on the role of someone else (like a king) and imagine that something (like a block) is actually something else (like a piece of cake). Look for toys that your child can use as he develops and acts out stories. Pretend play builds language and literacy skills, problem-solving skills, and the ability to sequence (put events in a logical order).

Examples: Dress-up clothing, blocks, toy food and plastic plates, action figures, stuffed animals and dolls, trains and trucks, toddler-friendly dollhouses, toy tools, and "real-life" accessories such as a wrapping paper tube "fire hose" for your little fire fighter. The all-purpose large cardboard box is always a big hit for toddlers and is free. (Call an appliance store about picking up one of their refrigerator boxes). Boxes become houses, pirate ships, barns, tunnels—anything your child's imagination can come up with!

• Give your child the chance to play with "real" stuff—or toys that look like the real thing. Your toddler is getting good at figuring out how objects in her world work—like television remotes or light switches. She is also interested in playing with your "real" stuff, like your cell phone, because she is eager to be big and capable like you. Toys like this help children problem-solve, learn spatial relations (how things fit together), and develop fine motor skills (use of the small muscles in the hands and fingers).

Examples: Plastic dishes and food, toy keys, toy phone, dress-up clothes, musical instruments, child-size brooms, mops, brushes and dustpans

• Toss in some "getting ready to read" toys. Books, magnetic alphabet letters, and art supplies like markers, crayons, and fingerpaints help your child develop early writing and reading skills. "Real-life" props like take-out menus, catalogs or magazines are fun for your child to look at and play with and also build her familiarity with letters, text, and print.

• Seek out toys that encourage your child to be active. Toddlers are doing all kinds of physical tricks as they are stronger and more confident with their bodies. Your job is to be an appreciative audience for your little one's newest playground achievement! Look for toys that help your child practice current physical skills and develop new ones.

Examples: Balls of different shapes and sizes, tricycles or three-wheeled scooters (with appropriate protective gear), plastic bowling sets, child-size basketball hoop, pull-toys (e.g., toys that your child can pull on a string), wagon to fill and pull, gardening tools to dig and rake with, moving boxes (open at both ends) to make tunnels to crawl through

• Look for toys that nurture cross-generational play. While adults and children can play almost anything together, there are some toys that are designed for adult participation. As your child approaches age 3 and beyond, early board games—that involve using one's memory or simple board games that do not require reading—are fun for all ages to play. Consider starting a "family game night" when all of you play together. Board games encourage counting, matching and memory skills, as well as listening skills and self-control (as children learn to follow the rules). They also nurture language and relationship-building skills. Another important benefit is teaching children to be gracious winners and how to cope with losing.

Common Questions on Choosing Toys for Toddlers

What are the benefits of sounds, lights and music?

Many, many toys for toddlers are ablaze with buttons, levers, lights, music, etc. Often these toys are marketed as "developmental" because the toy has so many different functions. Unfortunately, this often has the opposite effect for the child. The more a toy does, the less your child has to do. If your child can sit and watch the toy "perform", then it is likely more entertaining than educational. In addition, these toys can be confusing to a child who is learning cause-and-effect. If a toy randomly starts playing music, or it is unclear which button made the lights start flashing, then your child is not learning which of his actions (the cause) produced the lights and music (the effect). In short, the most useful toys are those that require the most action on the part of a young child. The more children have to use their minds and bodies to make something work, the more they learn.

Can toys actually "make my baby smarter", as the packaging and advertisements often claim?

Proceed with caution. Most products that make these claims have not been proven to increase children's intelligence. In fact, safe household items (plastic bowls for filling and dumping, pillows for climbing and piling up to make a cave, old clothing for dress-up) are often the best learning tools. Remember, the more your child has to use his mind and body to problem solve and develop his own ideas, the more he learns.

Copyright 2012 ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers and Families

1255 23rd Street, NW, Suite 350, Washington, DC 20037 | Phone: (202) 638-1144 | Fax: (202) 638-0851

Winter Safety Tips for Children

By Melissa Mayntz

As the weather turns chilly, new dangers for kids are appearing; but these winter safety tips for children can help keep them safe, warm and healthy through the coldest months of the year.

Playing Outside

The cold temperatures and biting winds are the most obvious hazards when children play in the snow. Children who are not prepared for winter climates can suffer frostbite, hypothermia and severe chills that can lead to illness, poor judgment and even permanent injury. To avoid the dangers of cold weather:

• Dress in multiple layers to play outside, including extra layers for legs, feet and hands.

• Always wear hats and gloves when playing outdoors in cold weather; the biggest proportions of body heat are lost through the head and hands.

• Limit the amount of time spent playing outdoors to safe intervals, and bring children inside periodically to warm up.

• Remove all wet clothing immediately and change to dry clothes if going back outdoors.

• Do not permit children to play outdoors in poor weather such as snowstorms, extreme cold or high winds.

• Wear brightly colored outer clothing that is easily seen from a distance.

• Do not dress children in winter wear with drawstrings - they can cut off circulation and make frostbite a greater threat, and loose drawstrings may present a strangulation hazard.

• Teach children to avoid playing near snowplow areas.

• Do not permit children to dig snow tunnels or forts that may collapse and bury them.

• Avoid snowball fights that can lead to injuries from dangerous projectiles.

• Keep roofs, gutters and awnings free from snow and icicle buildup that could collapse and injure a child. Similarly, do not permit children to pull icicles from the roof.

• Teach children never to touch or lick exposed metal (fences, flagpoles, etc.) in winter.

• Do not allow children to eat snow. It may contain pollutants, dirt, fecal matter or other contaminants, and the cold snow can chill a young child's body to dangerous levels.

• Regularly de-ice or sand sidewalks, driveways, patios and other areas where children may play.

Staying Healthy

The long days of winter often keep children indoors, which can lead to hours of inactivity. Furthermore, children are more likely to contract illnesses during the winter months because they are in more confined spaces. To stay healthy during the winter, consider these safety tips:

• Eat a healthy, balanced diet that includes fruits and vegetables.

• Teach children proper hand-washing techniques to kill germs and bacteria or use hand sanitizer if necessary.

• Keep children home from school and other public places if they are sick.

• Ask a pediatrician about the necessity for flu vaccines for young children.

Heating Tips

The natural reaction to falling temperatures is to raise the heat, either through external, supplemental heaters or by turning on a fireplace or other open flames. These safety tips can keep away the winter chill without risk:

• Keep candles, kerosene lamps, and other open flames out of reach of children at all times.

• Do not put a space heater in a child's room.

• Teach children fire safety procedures, including how to spot potential hazards.

• Do not allow children to play in fires such as roasting marshmallows in a fireplace.

• Practice family fire drills to reinforce safe behavior.

• Do not use electric blankets for young children.

http://safety.lovetoknow.com/

Holiday Safety Tips

The holidays are an exciting time of year for kids, and to help ensure they have a safe holiday season, here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

Trees

• When purchasing an artificial tree, look for the label "Fire Resistant."

• When purchasing a live tree, check for freshness. A fresh tree is green, needles are hard to pull from branches and when bent between your fingers, needles do not break. The trunk butt of a fresh tree is sticky with resin, and when tapped on the ground, the tree should not lose many needles.

• When setting up a tree at home, place it away from fireplaces, radiators or portable heaters. Place the tree out of the way of traffic and do not block doorways.

• Cut a few inches off the trunk of your tree to expose the fresh wood. This allows for better water absorption and will help keep your tree from drying out and becoming a fire hazard.

• Be sure to keep the stand filled with water, because heated rooms can dry live trees out rapidly.

Lights

• Check all tree lights—even if you've just purchased them—before hanging them on your tree. Make sure all the bulbs work and that there are no frayed wires, broken sockets or loose connections.

• Never use electric lights on a metallic tree. The tree can become charged with electricity from faulty lights, and a person touching a branch could be electrocuted.

• Before using lights outdoors, check labels to be sure they have been certified for outdoor use. To hold lights in place, string them through hooks or insulated staples, not nails or tacks. Never pull or tug lights to remove them.

• Plug all outdoor electric decorations into circuits with ground fault circuit interrupters to avoid potential shocks.

• Turn off all lights when you go to bed or leave the house. The lights could short out and start a fire.

Decorations

• Use only non-combustible or flame-resistant materials to trim a tree. Choose tinsel or artificial icicles of plastic or nonleaded metals.

• Never use lighted candles on a tree or near other evergreens. Always use non-flammable holders, and place candles where they will not be knocked over.

• In homes with small children, take special care to avoid decorations that are sharp or breakable. Keep trimmings with small removable parts out of the reach of children to prevent them from swallowing or inhaling small pieces. Avoid trimmings that resemble candy or food that may tempt a young child to eat them.

• Wear gloves to avoid eye and skin irritation while decorating with spun glass "angel hair." Follow container directions carefully to avoid lung irritation while decorating with artificial snow sprays.

• Remove all wrapping papers, bags, paper, ribbons and bows from tree and fireplace areas after gifts are opened. These items can pose suffocation and choking hazards to a small child or can cause a fire if near flame.

Toy Safety

• Select toys to suit the age, abilities, skills and interest level of the intended child. Toys too advanced may pose safety hazards for younger children.

• Before buying a toy or allowing your child to play with a toy that he has received as a gift, read the instructions carefully.

• To prevent both burns and electrical shocks, don’t give young children (under age 10) a toy that must be plugged into an electrical outlet. Instead, buy toys that are battery-operated.

• Young children can choke on small parts contained in toys or games. Government regulations specify that toys for children under age three cannot have parts less than 1 1/4 inches in diameter and 2 1/4 inches long.

• Children can have serious stomach and intestinal problems – including death -- after swallowing button batteries and magnets. In addition to toys, button batteries are often found in musical greeting cards, remote controls, hearing aids and other small electronics. Keep them away from young children and call your health care provider immediately if your child swallows one.

• Children can choke or suffocate on uninflated or broken balloons; do not allow children under age 8 to play with them.

• Remove strings and ribbons from toys before giving them to young children.

• Watch for pull toys with strings that are more than 12 inches in length. They could be a strangulation hazard for babies.

• Parents should store toys in a designated location, such as on a shelf or in a toy chest, and keep older kids’ toys away from young children.

Food Safety

• Bacteria are often present in raw foods. Fully cook meats and poultry, and thoroughly wash raw vegetables and fruits.

• Be sure to keep hot liquids and food away from the edges of counters and tables, where they can be easily knocked over by a young child’s exploring hands. Be sure that young children cannot access microwave ovens.

• Wash your hands frequently, and make sure your children do the same.

• Never put a spoon used to taste food back into food without washing it.

• Always keep raw foods and cooked foods separately, and use separate utensils when preparing them.

• Always thaw meat in the refrigerator, never on the countertop.

• Foods that require refrigeration should never be left at room temperature for more than two hours.

Happy Visiting

• Clean up immediately after a holiday party. A toddler could rise early and choke on leftover food or come in contact with alcohol or tobacco.

• Remember that the homes you visit may not be childproofed. Keep an eye out for danger spots like unlocked cabinets, unattended purses, accessible cleaning or laundry products, stairways, or hot radiators.

• Keep a list with all of the important phone numbers you or a baby-sitter are likely to need in case of an emergency. Include the police and fire department, your pediatrician and the national Poison Help Line, 1-800-222-1222. Laminating the list will prevent it from being torn or damaged by accidental spills.

• Traveling, visiting family members, getting presents, shopping, etc., can all increase your child's stress levels. Trying to stick to your child's usual routines, including sleep schedules and timing of naps, can help you and your child enjoy the holidays and reduce stress.

Fireplaces

• Before lighting any fire, remove all greens, boughs, papers, and other decorations from fireplace area. Check to see that the flue is open.

• Use care with "fire salts," which produce colored flames when thrown on wood fires. They contain heavy metals that can cause intense gastrointestinal irritation and vomiting if eaten. Keep them away from children.

• Do not burn gift wrap paper in the fireplace. A flash fire may result as wrappings ignite suddenly and burn intensely.

http://www.healthychildren.org

© Copyright 2012 American Academy of Pediatrics. All rights reserved.